


“I know you didn’t ask for this.”

by Isimile



Series: Marvel Bingo 2019 [5]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fantastic Racism, Fictober 2019, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Marvel Bingo 2019, Odin's A+ Parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-25 21:43:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20919086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isimile/pseuds/Isimile
Summary: For years, Loki yearned for a soulmate. Then he learns that he's a Frostgiant, a monster, and figures it's only to be expected that he has no soulmate. But then he arrives on Sakaar...





	“I know you didn’t ask for this.”

“I know you didn’t ask for this.” Loki was proud of himself for how little his voice shook. He wanted to cry but his mask held. He’d never expected it to come to this.

Growing up, he had struggled with not having a soul mark. Everyone on Asgard had their soulmate’s first words to them on their dominant arm. At first he’d thought that he’d taken more after his mother in this as well. As a Vanir, she didn’t have any words but then, during the rather awkward talk about soulmates and sexual relations with them and others, they’d learned that the Vanir were unable to see colours until they met their soulmate. But he had always been able to see colours, as far back as he could remember.

His peers had teased him mercilessly. Older Asgardians had had rarely said anything to his face but they had not exactly been quiet when gossiping about what this meant. If it was a sign of some defect in him, of something that made him unworthy of having a soulmate.

“Who would want him to be their soulmate?” they’d ask.

“I knew there was something off about him, from the first time I saw him.”

“He must have done something to piss off the Nornes, for them not to give him a soulmate.”

It’s what had fuelled his research into ways to travel between the different Planes, hoping that he didn’t have a name or a symbol because his soulmate was neither Asgardian nor Vanir.

It wasn’t a Dwarf. Shortly after birth, a stone pendant at an unbreakable chain appeared around their neck, the colour and type of stone representing their soulmate. He did not have such a pendant.

It wasn’t a Light Elf. They had symbols over their heart, with their soulmate having a matching mark. He didn’t have a mark.

It wasn’t a Midgardian. They had a date somewhere on their body when they would meet their soulmate. He’d looked everywhere but there was no date on his body.

Dark Elves didn’t exist anymore, they had been wiped out by Bor, so his soulmate couldn’t be one.

Frostgiants were soulless monsters, so they did not have soulmarks or soulmates.

Then Thor’s coronation came – or rather it didn’t – and their unfortunate trip to Jotunheim.

All of Asgard had been right. He did not have a soulmate because he was a monster, a Jotun.

~*~

Perhaps it was better this way, he figured. After his failed suicide attempt, he’d fallen into the grasp of The Other and, through him, the Mad Titan. He’d managed to sabotage the invasion he’d been ordered to lead to Midgard and been captured and taken back to Asgard by Thor. Odin, of course, hadn’t been interested in listening to him and his warnings and had instead sentenced him to be imprisoned. He was certain it had only been because of Frigga’s intervention that he hadn’t been executed. (He still could not decide if he was thankful for it or not)

After Malekith and Frigga’s death, he’d decided to impersonate Odin long enough to prepare for when Thanos would inevitably show up for the Infinity Stones kept on Asgard. That would be his revenge on him before his death.

Only then Odin had died and thereby freed his daughter, his actual first-born. (He was torn between compassion and satisfaction at Thor’s experiencing what it meant to learn all your life had been a lie)

When they’d been knocked out of the Bifrost, he’d found himself on Sakaar, at the court of the Grandmaster. The man was strange but he also held an inexplicable appeal to him. The Grandmaster seemed just as fascinated by him, to the displeasure of many others. He’d still held out, afraid that it was just the novelty or the chase that was the cause of his interest in him.

But finally he had given in, which led to the first skin-on-skin contact between them. It had been a perfectly innocent touch, the Grandmaster running a gentle finger down Loki’s cheek. But suddenly he’d pulled his hand back and stared at his finger which had turned blue.

“I’m sorry,” Loki had exclaimed, afraid that he might have hurt him, the same way he had seen the Frostgiants on Jotunheim hurt Thor and his friends.

“Do you know what this means?” the Grandmaster had asked.

He’d just shaken his head, afraid of what new turn his life had just taken.

“It’s means you’re my soulmate.”

“I’m sorry,” Loki had replied. “I know you didn’t ask for this.”

The Grandmaster frowned. “Why are you sorry? You are my soulmate. I didn’t expect to have one.”

Loki looked away. “But I’m certain you didn’t expect it to be a monster, a... a Frostgiant.”

He looked him up and down, tilting his head from side to side. “Is that what you are?”

He swallowed hard. He’d used the words in anger before but never like this, in a calm conversation. “I... I’m Jotun.”

The Grandmaster frowned. “Who told you that they are monsters?” He reached for Loki but he jerked back.

“Everyone on Asgard. They taught us from early childhood that... that they’re monsters, cruel, mindless. The only race without soulmates. Violent and dangerous. Destroying... destroying everything they touch.”

The Grandmaster’s gaze grew darker with every word, making Loki finally falter and trail off. He ducked his head, expecting him to lash out now that he realized what a cruel joke Fate had played on him.

“Oh no. No, darling. I’m not angry at you,” the Grandmaster hurried to reassure him. He gently took hold of his shoulders, ignoring his flinch, and repeated: “Did you hear me? I am not angry at you.”

“Grandmaster –“

“En,” he interrupted. “My name is En, En Dwi Gast. You don’t have to, have to call me Grandmaster. Not you.” He waited for Loki to nod slightly, then continued: “I’m angry at whoever told you those lies. Because they are. Lies, that is. And cruel to tell them to you.”

Loki looked up at him through his lashes, trying to tell if he was telling the truth.

“They’re dangerous because they’re warriors,” En elaborated. “Because they can fight up close and, through their magic, at a distance. They’re hardy. But they’re also sensuous. A rich culture I couldn’t be bothered to learn all of. Pity, I’d have liked to teach you.” He smiled. “And obviously you do have soulmates.” He gestured to himself. Slowly, so as not to spook Loki further, he lifted one hand and tenderly cupped his cheek. “Would you show me?”

Loki trembled in his hold. Show his hated true form? And yet he found that he could not refrain from fulfilling his soulmate’s request. He closed his eyes and he made himself shift, certain he would lose those wonderfully gentle touches, that his skin, so cold it burned, would prevent it. To his surprise, he instead felt him run one finger over his face carefully, down his chin, along his forehead, his cheeks. Loki gasped, this knees threatening to buckle.

“I am your soulmate as well,” the Grandmaster, En, said, sounding profoundly satisfied. “A Jotun’s marks grow, grow more pronounced after they’ve touched their soulmate.”

“Will... will you tell me more? About Jotun?” Loki asked hesistantly.

“If you wish.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can follow me on tumblr at [eleonorebirk.tumblr.com](https://eleonorebirk.tumblr.com/) where I will be posting my bingo and fictober fills first


End file.
